DANOMI

via: freshnessmag by way of kanYe’s blog

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Well its been almost two months since our nephew got expelled from his school and became a little too much for his Mother to handle. He’s officially a ‘troubled teen’ and officially living with us now. You already know that the decision to allow him to move in with us wasn’t exactly what you would call a “no brainer.” There are way too many variables when you are raising your own teenagers not to mention taking one in with some known problems. I mean, he did threaten to “blow up” his teacher’s house. Sure, everyone knows he was just joking, right?

In some one ways he’s just your typical teenager. He expresses a deep rooted desire to do nothing. Umm, if you didn’t hear me correctly he actually wants to do nothing as in with his life. Well, he did want to do nothing until I helped him with his understanding that its virtually impossible to do completely nothing with your life. After over a month of prodding it would seem that there are some things that he actually wants to do with his life although he’s not necessarily shooting for the stars yet. Well I’m rambling a little and beating around the bush somewhat as well considering the fact that I’m not about to get too specific. Let’s just stick with the troubled teen description and beyond that I guess the only other defining trait would be his pants, which are perpetually sagging and his utter disregard for reading or vocabulary even though he wants to be (among other things)…. drumroll please…. a rapper.

My once peaceful home has turned into a bootcamp/prison ever since he moved in with me alternating roles between Squad Leader and Prison Guard depending on the circumstance. Fortunately for him there are some other roles that I’ve been obliged to play during our time together including but not limited to: teacher (to his student), Miaggi (Danielson), doctor (patient), Big Brother (Lil Brother), etc…

Male children can be strong willed in their desire to do as they please no matter how misguided they may be. Prior to his arrival I didn’t really have much need to be Squad Leader/ Drill Sergeant around my house. My wife and I only have one daughter who happens to at least play the game of life as it should be played to keep us off of her back. She brings home good grades, is well behaved most times with the exception being her smart mouth and she at least values whatever privileges she enjoys enough to do what it takes not to have them revoked. I can’t say the same for ‘YungGin G’ yet. Maybe with time he will up his game a little.

The other morning I went into his room to wake him up so that we could get our day started. This sleep thing is a difficulty factor for sure because he repeatedly stays up too late and even if he goes to sleep on time I wouldn’t exactly consider him a morning person. It takes him anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes to actually get up after I’ve interrupted his sleep in the mornings. So I actually allow a little extra time for his sluggish morning behavior. He always responds differently and that may have something to do with the different methods I employ to get him up every morning. I like to change it up.

On this particular morning he reacted quite abruptly by yelling some indiscernible syllables coupled with some oddly timed moans and groans illustrating his frustration with the idea of waking up. My response was swift, decisive and appropriately harsh given the set of circumstances I was presented with. My wife was awakened by our exchange and asked me to stop all of that cursing. My reaction to her request was almost as harsh as my reaction to this young nex-con who happened to pick the wrong moment to test me. After I dropped off the two teens to their respective locations I arrived back home to continue my daily research. I happened to read a passage from a book which crushes the notions of coincidences completely so let’s just say the timing was impeccable. The following passage is from: The Daemon: A Guide to Your Extraordinary Secret Self and reads ….

These organs — the hippocampus, amygdala, septum, thalamus, fornix, cingulate gyrus and reticular formation — are believed to be the location of man’s basic instincts. It is this part of the brain that governs automatic responses such as fear, anger, parenting behaviour and aggression. It is also the seat of deep-rooted emotional reactions such as tears and laughter. This does not mean that it is ‘primitive’ in the accepted sense of the term because some of man’s most noble attributes such as love and the creative process may also be rooted here. It is important to recognize that this area is unconscious and acts without the will and control of the conscious mind. (pg. 78)

Once she finally got up she tried to clarify her position which led to a debate which I was obviously poised to win being that I had relevant reference materials to back up the common knowledge that it takes men to raise men. She still doesn’t like the fact that sometimes its rough business raising boys but I informed her that I will not stroke his testicles nor will I watch her allow him to relive his infant stages by suckling him and spoiling him further than he has already been spoiled by his biological Mother. I asked my wife if she knows what it takes to “make a man” and of course her answer was negative. Well I do have a clue how to help boys become men. In fact, it happens to be one of my Super Powers. I definitely need and would love her help and assistance on this one but babying a troubled teen is not they way to go.

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In our constantly evolving world of interconnectivity we sometimes have to force ourselves to strategically disconnect in order not to be drowned out by the same networks in which we derive so much value from. We now live in a borderless world which enables us to tap into numerous networks and endless information streams. Now that we have access to everything, how do we define our parameters? I’m involved in about six or seven different organizations whose aims and goals are as varied as last year’s Bonnaroo concert line-up. In some of the organizations my role is more clearly defined than others.

A few of the organizations, especially the ones whom I’ve kind of unofficially consulted while determining how best to assist them with their goals, don’t really know what to make of some of the advice I’ve offered them over the last 12-18 months. That’s to be expected from organizations and individuals who underestimate the importance of networks. Networks are natural, powerful and necessary for every business or organization in this new economy. Systems are changing right before our eyes as we watch today’s economic model give way to something still undefined. You are already a part of multiple networks whether you acknowledge it or not. What happens when you build networks? According to Seth Godin:

The idea of connecting people, of building tribes, of the natural monopoly provided by online communities means that the internet is the best friend of people focusing on the third element, insulation from competition. Once you build a network, it’s extremely difficult for someone else to disrupt it.

The networks you build with the internet serve as an extension (not replacement) of human networks which you build or belong to as a result of ‘real’ human interaction. Our digital selves can only represent an extension of our actual selves. In a lot of ways the internet is like the “Rabbit Hole” and no one really knows how deep this thing goes. The best thing to me about the internet is when the digital networks I am a part of interact with the real (face-to-face) networks in which I also belong. Sometimes the networks are similar but never the same.

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Cliff Kelly: We’re going to take another caller. “Yaphet,” you are on the Talk of Chicago.

Yaphet:  Minister, I am trying my best to go on this crusade to save the young people who are out there doing the gang violence and the killing. I’m talking to some of the youngsters in my neighborhood [in] the South Shore area, trying to [say to them] “You young people are our future! We’re not going to have a future if you keep knocking each other out with this silly gang violence!”

The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan: Thank you, brother. Our children are victims of a terrible conspiracy. In the Bible, when Pharaoh saw the multiplication of the numbers of the Children of Israel, he said, “Come. Let us deal wisely with them, lest they multiply and join on to an enemy of ours, and come against us.” So, the conspiracy was to kill all the male children, and spare the females.

Right now, if you look at the Black community, there are Black men dying in unprecedented numbers. When you look at the college campuses of America, you find Black women predominant, and Black men less. Black men are filling the prison. Black men are sick with AIDS, and Black women are the No. 1 carrier of the AIDS virus, according to what they say. There is a conspiracy to destroy us as a people. When we see a people being marginalized, the next stage of that marginalization is their extinction. What better way to do it than to bring guns into our community? Drugs into our community? And AIDS into our community?

What you tell the young people is true, but we have to go deeper. We not only have to teach our young people, but we have to give them a sense of their greatness. They are the greatest generation that we have ever produced. They are fearless. They are born warriors. They are not like their parents, or grandparents. They are very, very different. And the enemy knows this, so he calculates separating the youth from the wisdom of age and experience.

I wish that my Black brothers and sisters would help Brother Farrakhan to get out of prison. I am not in a prison of “steel bars” – I am in a prison of public opinion manipulated by the media and their hatred of the truth that is in my mouth that would set our people free. Help me to get out of prison. Stop looking at the Nation of Islam as though we are some enemy to Black people. Open the door to the schools, and let us go in and teach! We don’t have to teach religion. Just teach truth, and these young people will rise up! They will be disciplined. They will see their future, and then the condition in our community will change.

About 3 or 4 weeks ago I began facing new (and revisited) challenges which I would have to face and overcome one way or another. I mentioned one of my personal challenges in my last blog post. One of my nephews had become so unruly at home that his Mother could no longer deal with him and was crying out for help. I visited them and talked to him extensively at the time trying to impress on him the importance of him doing the right thing because he was helping to place his very life in danger. He listened but I don’t think I was getting through to him. He knew that I would be gone after a couple of hours and that he would be right back with his peers doing the same thing that was getting him into all of this trouble both at home and at school. I told him at the time that I didn’t think he could finish the school year especially if he continued to engage in the activities and behavior he had committed himself to. Well, here we are 3 weeks later and he finally managed to get expelled for the rest of the school year. I’ve been messing with him a little bit asking him if he knew how I predicted this eventual outcome. I told him we’ve been witnessing cases just like his for the last 20 or 30 years. It’s not surprising at all and very easy to predict.

Another challenge that has arrived at my door is the fact that my daughter has recently turned 16 and she can’t seem to get boys off of her mind. She goes to an all girls school but every second her friends and her have they are trying to interact with boys in some form or fashion. Today with modern means of communication it is increasingly more difficult to police these activities unless you are totally committed to limiting all lines of access. Between social sites on the internet (Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc.), cell phones and any social event they can convince you to allow them to attend it is a real trial to limit their access to other peers who probably suffer from a lack of guidance. My daughter is intent on forcing boys into my life.

About 2 weeks ago she asked me if she could go to the Prom of one of these young men. Without hesitation my answer was, “no.” Little did I know that this seemingly casual exchange would spark a battle which I mistakenly assumed that I had a little more time before dealing with the explosive subject matter of boys. Well, my daughter stomped off. She was upset by the decision. Cool. She has to learn how deal with disappointment in life, right?

These two situations combined have served as a catalyst of sorts to awaken me out of my personal hibernation. Like the Honorable Louis Farrakhan stated above these young men are warriors. They are fearless. And it made me realize that I have a tremendous responsibility to introduce them to their own greatness. Allah has blessed me to grow in wisdom and if we are to move forward as a people we have to share our wisdom and experience with these young warriors so that they can fight the next phase of the struggle for our complete liberation as a people.

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Do you remember my post toward the end of 2008 in preparation for the New Year?

2009 Will Be Defined.

Well let me first start of by stating the obvious; it’s easier said than done. In some ways I was declaring my intentions to control my own destiny. The first quarter of 2009 has just passed and there are certain areas which I absolutely control and other areas of my life where it would seem I have no control over whatsoever. The fact that as I sit here writing this entry I am contemplating a decision which will cause me large amounts of discomfort for an unknowable amount of time is insanity in action. The logic behind this decision is hard for me to explain at this point. All human beings are wild cards and you can never know for certain what’s going on in their minds. I am about to step out on a real cloud of faith to save the life of a teenager. He’s my nephew through marriage and has lost his way.

For most this decision would be a ‘no brainer.’ Some would deal with the problems he’s going through from a distance since he has a Mother and Stepfather in the home already. Maybe offer some advice and wish them luck dealing with the troubled teen. Overall this has been my approach toward the situation although I do open my home to him during the summers. A select few wouldn’t hesitate to invite the youngster into their lives with warmth and open arms, they are the type who love unconditionally. One day I would love to grow into that type of person. As for now, I’m on the fence. For some reason I always end up on the fence. Not willing to do one thing and having no desire to do the other. It’s pretty hard to drive through life with your car in neutral. This little problem may have been with me for along time but now it has grown exponentially.

With the ever increasing number of options and possibilities we have in every area of our lives the choice to do nothing becomes easier and easier. This decision is trickier than it sounds because teenagers tend to have a mind of their own and can be quite the rebel.

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