Daily Struggle With Self

by Young Che on March 21, 2008

Once you begin the struggle to become the best you that you can become you will immediately have to face many obstacles which will be thrown at you from every possible direction. My last article dealt with a specific decision that I have made and cannot reverse. Now the main obstacle lies in whether or not I can command the energy and resources necessary to dig my way out of my current reality in order to arrive at the place in time and space in which I hope to position myself in. I am truly in a transitional phase in my life that I can only relate to the time period I was in just prior to my joining the Nation Of Islam back in 1994. Some days it feels like I am in the twilight zone (in more ways than one; will elaborate later). Some mornings I am completely revisited with the feelings of uncertainty about the direction my life in headed in as I try to focus and determine my own course. That time period (1991-1994) was filled with so much pain, grief and uncertainty that I remember embracing the following phrase as a description of my state of being; Pain Is My Religion. In a lot of ways it still is. We have to constantly engage ourselves in the growth process because we are ever evolving creatures with the ability and responsibility to become better reflections of God Himself through our growth.

This growth does not come without effort on our part. It requires conscious effort on our part. We must commit ourselves to study in the broadest sense in order to become more proficient at living life in an ever changing time. We live in a rapidly changing world in which we have to become excellent at adapting to change as well as circumstances that may very well be beyond our control. The hand of God is at work today whether we know it or not. His hand is at work whether we want to realize it or not. Hurricane Katrina is a prime example for those of us who are God Fearing folks. Hurricane Katrina affected (as well as effected) me and my family on a personal level as it did thousands of others. Ever since then I have been in survival mode just responding to whatever the day presents itself with. Most times I am just thankful to get through another day. Life planning, goal setting, career choices, even basic decision making have all become overwhelming in the sense that I am not in a hurry to make these type of “Big” decisions because of a perceived fear of change that is beyond my control. I am finally coming around to the notion that all these decisions that I have been running from require my constant input because they directly impact the quality of my family’s life directly and the lives of my community, Nation and world indirectly.

My current challenge is to start several businesses over the next 3-5 years. This will require a lot of hard work on my part. Most of the businesses that I envision don’t have much to do with the type of business that I am currently engaged in. So my specific challenge is to learn how to automate and scale my business into a model that can

1) Run itself based on a system/set of rules in place to govern it.

2) Become a model that is able to be duplicated no matter the geographical region

3) Make the system adaptable to other business types.

This challenge for me is somewhat daunting considering I keep battling the urge to jump ship completely from my current business without rising to the challenge of correcting the many problems that exist. A lot of the problems are from my own hand and I am haunted daily by the way I would have handled this in the past. That would have been to jump ship and quit this stuff completely because of the difficulty factor. Some mornings I really want to throw in the towel. This is some negativity that I have to overcome in order to be effective in any other business. I can’t ignore the fact that I feel like this on a regular basis even though I know that it is counter-productive to making real significant progress. This is part of my personal struggle. This is one of the demons that I have to face and slay in order to move on to the next phase of my life. In overcoming this demon and documenting my progress in doing so I hope to help you and me be better prepared to face all of the obstacles that life can possibly through at us 🙂

Yesterday I talked with a consultant about the possibility of him coming in and taking a look at my operation and assisting to revamp and help organize the nuts and bolts of how we have been doing things. We talked about the challenges inherent within our industry as well as some of the things that really have to be addressed in any sort of business if it is to be successful. Talking to him was just like some of the other conversations that I have been having with other consultants, friends, business associates and family members who were willing to listen is the fact that I am still in the midst of some heavy soul searching trying to determine if this business is for me or not. In my last entry I stated in no uncertain terms that it is not the business for me in the long term, but in the short term I have to right the ship in order to gain access to the next level of my own personal growth. The situation is likened to video games like the old Ninja game by Shinobi, Super Mario Brothers, God of War, etc. or any of the other games on which you have to defeat a “Big Boss” in order to advance to the next level. Even though I would love to cut and run and just quit right now while I still have a semblance of my sanity, I know that the reward will be greater if I persevere through the rough times and commit to defeat the “Big Boss” in my life. Do I know how I am going to do it yet? NO.

I am putting my soul on display through this blog trying to answer a lot of questions about myself. I don’t even know for certain if I have what it takes to commit to this struggle at this present moment in time. Some days I feel like addressing problems and concerns with my current business and some days I feel like concentrating on my new business ventures. It is impossible to give either one ample time and attention that is required to make them operate properly without a set plan in place. So one of my first goals is to properly schedule and dedicate time to both. This blog is therapy for me first and foremost, hence the title. Self-Improvement: Keys to Success. In order for me to be effective at helping others I have to first help myself. My intention is to be in a position where I can help numerous people the world over but I have to deal with my impediments and learn to overcome them so that I can really become an aide to those who want to truly access the power that lies within them. This is part of my overall goal. This is why I am going to thoroughly analyze myself through this site over the next few years.

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