Not long ago I wrote about the Attracting Power that we all share and how it literally summons the things and people into your life that you need to fulfill your purpose in life. I mentioned a book that I located in the Psychology Section of the local public library titled: Prisoners Of Childhood by Alice Miller
After that I moved on to the prequel to a book I read earlier in the year.
Is There Life After Death?
Both of these books were written by Anthony Peake and are worth your attention especially if you want to learn more about yourself on a more intimate level and if you want to gain more insight into this thing we call life. These books will be explored in more detail early next year so stay on the lookout.
Upon my most recent trip to the library to return the Sci-Fi book that I decided to postpone reading and recheck out the above mentioned Psych books which I was sharing with some friends and find some other reading material to keep my attention for a few days, I went straight to the Sci-Fi section more out of habit than self-willed motivation. I glanced over a few of the titles but felt like I needed a break from Sci-Fi for a while. I headed back over to the Psychology section. I quickly scanned the spines of the books searching for titles that caught my attention. Two managed to jump out at me:
1. High Risk: Children Without A Conscience
2. Speaking with the Devil: A Dialogue with Evil
I completed the first book and started on the second one. I had to put the second book down and reflect on the first one because it hit me like a ton of bricks. So much information in that book helped me to understand myself in ways that I only halfway speculated about in the past. I also learned a lot about the myriad of “Trust Bandits” who have waltzed in and out of my life. America is in serious trouble if we do not address the problems confronted in this book. If we do not collectively take second look at the work that Dr. Ken Magid & Carole A. McKelvey did a little over twenty years ago America as a country will continue her downward spiral.
Below I will share some relevant quotes from the book and in the future I will dig into some of these quotes to share further insight. But for now order the book yourself or check it out from your local library and enjoy the following excerpts.
HIGH RISK: CHILDREN WITHOUT A CONSCIENCE
From the Foreword written by Congresswoman Patricia Schroeder
“We live in a time of transition, a demographic revolution that is altering the American workforce as well as the American family.
Sixty-five percent of all mothers with children under 18 years of age work outside the home. There are more single parent families and because of our mobility there is less extended family support to help us meet the demands of balancing work and family.
We have tried to go on about our business as though nothing has changed. We have acted as though the “Norman Rockwell” image is the rule and the rest of us are exceptions forced to make do as best we can. B
But everything has changed. As this book points out, the ramifications of these changes can be positive or negative depending on how we respond to the change.
Thanks to the insight of people like Dr. Ken Magid, Carole McKelvey, Dr. T. Berry Brazelton of Harvard, Dr. Foster Cline, Dr. Edward F. Zigler of Yale and others mentioned here, we have been given a unique chance, a gift, if you will. Their research and hard work shows us that we are at a crossroads, and we have a limited opportunity to respond.
Their work must convince us to act now before we become entrenched by default, in policies that establish high risk situations for our children. Our task is difficult – to respond quickly and at the same time creatively, with serious thought.
What we do now will have a profound effect on our future as a country and specifically on our children.
I: America – A Breeding Ground for Psychopaths?
1. The Trust Bandits
America. Land of the free, or a breeding ground for psychopaths? Hundreds of thousands of individuals filled with hatred populate this country. They are people without a conscience, and they hurt-sometimes kill-others without remorse. (Pg. 1)
What happens, right or wrong, in the critical first two years of a baby’s life will imprint that child as an adult. A complex set of events must occur in infancy to assure a future of trust and love. If the proper bonding and subsequent attachment does not occur – usually between the child and the mother – the child will develop mistrust and a deep-seated rage. He becomes a child without a conscience.
Not all unattached children grow up to be criminals, but most suffer some form of psychological damage. It may be that such children simply are never able to develop a true loving relationship, or they end up “conning” others for their own benefit. These, too, can be considered tragedies, for no child should have to grow up without this trust bond and loving beginning. (Pg. 3)
Cleckley, (link to 3 faces of Eve & wiki) says:” On the basis of experience in psychiatric outpatient clinics and with psychiatric problems of private patients and in the community, it does not seem an exaggeration to estimate the number of people seriously disabled by the disorder now listed under the term ‘antisocial personality’ as greater than the number disabled by any recognized psychosis except schizophrenia.” Our concern is that since most psychopaths work in the shadows, they are undetected and the number may, therefore, be far greater than anyone imagines. (Pg. 4)
“All (criminals) regard the world as a chessboard over which they have total control, and they perceive people as pawns to be pushed around at will,” says Stanton E. Samenow in Inside the Criminal Mind (1984, p. 20) “Trust, love, loyalty, and teamwork are incompatible with their way of life. They scorn and exploit most people who are kind, trusting, hardworking and honest.”
Con artist Joe Flynn’s specialty was extracting money from well-known individuals and organizations, such as publisher Robert Murdoch and businessman John De Lorean, bankers, the FBI, the CIA, and various embassies. Flynn admits he is a crook, but he says remorse doesn’t keep him wake at night. He believes that politics, banks, finance companies and business institutions are filled with con men, although they may operate within the letter of the law. (Pg. 9)
“Lying, stealing, fighting, truancy and resisting authority are typical early childhood signs. In adolescence unusually early or aggressive sexual behavior, excessive drinking and the use of illicit drugs are frequent. In adulthood these kinds of behavior continue, with the addition of the inability to sustain consistent work performance or to function as a responsible parent and failure to accept social norms with respect to lawful behavior.” (DSM-III Manual, 1980, pp. 317-318)
Note: That sounds like any poverty stricken community in the country.
A Superficial Mask
At first meeting, there may be a sense that something is different about these individuals. Usually the “difference is misinterpreted. Their eyes often sparkle and they frequently are very animated, compelling, almost hypnotic. They are generally not perceived as bad or evil. More often, they are charming and engaging.
Although these psychopaths are at center stage, they are masters at presenting the illusion that the person they are with is the focus of attention. A curious trait that psychopaths often have is extrasensory perception about others and the ability to pick out personal vulnerabilities with uncanny accuracy. This information they store for later use. They frequently will compliment and praise their new acquaintance, winning him over with their “charm.”
“It must be remembered,” said author Cleckley (1982, p.102) “that even the most severely and obviously disabled psychopath presents a technical appearance of sanity, often one of high intellectual capacities and not infrequently succeeds in business or professional activities for short periods, some for considerable periods . . . Although they occasionally appear on casual inspection as successful members of the community, as able lawyers, executives, or physicians, they do not, it seems, succeed in the sense of finding satisfaction or fulfillment in their own accomplishments. Nor do they, when the full story is known, appear to find this in any other ordinary activity.” (pp.11-12)
Most psychopaths at first glance, as we have noted, seem quite well put together-quite normal. They don’t suffer from delusions, hallucinations, or memory impairment, their contact with reality appears solid.
Rather, their mental defect-and it’s substantial-manifests itself as a chronic inability to behave in conformance with social norms, to defer gratification, control impulses, tolerate frustration, profit from corrective experiences, or identify with others and form meaningful relationships with them. The psychopath must have what he wants, no matter the cost to those in his way. (p.21)
We Are Vulnerable
It is no secret that many in our quick-paced society are starved for love and affection. The power to capitalize on this is never lost on skilled manipulators, whether they be 6 or 60 years old. Even trained psychiatrists have been fooled. (p.21)
Ethel Spector Person is an expert on manipulators; she has called the psychopath “A curious mixture of cynicism coupled with a magical belief that fortune will smile on him.” (1986, p. 265) Although the ultimate effects of psychopathic behavior may be devastating, the underlying purpose of self-destructive acts isn’t to fail, but to assuage anxiety and depression. From the psychopath’s point of view, then, his behavior is not reprehensible, but self-defense. (Person, 1986, p.266) (p.25)
Surely you know people who have used you and then gone on their way. Unless you know what to watch out for, you are at high risk. And unless a prescription for prevention is followed to reduce the huge numbers of unattached children being raised in this country, we are all at risk. (p.43)
Psychopaths Wanted
The antisocial individuals who have been studied are usually those who have been institutionalized. But what of the vast majority who are never caught? C.S. Widom (1977) had an ingenious idea for reaching this larger group. She ran advertisements in newspapers that said:
“Are you adventurous? Psychologist studying adventurous, carefree people who’ve led exciting, impulsive lives. If you’re the kind of person who’d do almost anything for a dare and want to participate in a paid experiment, send name, address . . .”(p.675)
Widom’s ads attracted individuals whose responses on a battery of tests were similar to the personality makeup of institutionalized psychopaths. (pp. 43-44)
Ted Bundy, in fact, fabricated the public Ted: scholarly, bright, witty, handsome. He developed the air of cool self-assurance, the look women found irresistible. Authors Michoud and Aynesworth (1983) said Bundy’s critical challenge from his teen years on was to perfect and maintain a credible public persona, his mask of sanity.
He was lacking in true adult emotions, so he had to put on the look of normalcy while inside his rage went unabated. It was “like an alien life form acquiring appropriate behavior through mimicry and artifice” (p.68). Bundy obviously missed a great deal in his bonding process. (p. 63)
“The life histories of people with such a disease reveal no single significant human relationship. The narrative of their lives reads like a vagrant’s journey with chance encounters and transient partnerships. Since no partner is valued, any one partner can be exchanged for any other; in the absence of love, there is no pain in loss” (Fraiberg, 1977. p. 47). Fraiberg says some of these individuals are found in mental hospitals, many others imprison. (One warden estimated that fully 90% of the felons housed in his prison were psychopaths.) Many others reside in the slums and other places where an absence of human emotions can sometimes be an advantage. As we have noted earlier, an absence of a conscience can also be helpful to the psychopathic manipulator who is trying to buy into the boardrooms of America. Prime time soap opera plots are full of examples of “successful” business executives who climbed up the corporate ladder by stepping on anyone who got in their way. Women psychopaths use sex as a primary technique of manipulation. (pp. 63-64)
The future of such non-attached children is clear if those working with them cannot bring them into a human relationship. They become the permanently unattached men and women of the next generation. Whether that means they will be criminals depends on the extent of their rage. It does mean that these unattached children will go through life devoid of the human emotions necessary to find love and happiness. (p. 66)
Do not jump to the conclusion that this book is another diatribe saying women should abandon their careers and go home to the family – one of the authors is a working mother. Rather, this book warns that things are not as they should be with this nation’s children. And we offer some sane suggestions that will work for many of the insane situations causing problems today for families. (p. 111)
“The most powerful cause of violence today, as in the past, is neglect and physical abuse of children. This usually turns children into aggressive and often criminal adults . . . Mistreatment of children can occur at all economic and educational levels,” said Dr. Benjamin Spock in a 1979 article. (p. 64) It is still true. (p. 302)
We must also address the causes of poverty in this country that doom many children not only to near-starvation conditions but promote an atmosphere conducive to violence. (p. 302)
“The greatest of evils and the worst of crimes is poverty.” (George Bernard Shaw)
What can be done to stop escalating physical and mental abuse? Prevention is the key, and it requires the help of the community. We need to strengthen our families so that we strengthen our society for later generations. (p. 303)
The Psychopath’s Favorite Playground: Business Relationships
Not too long ago in Japan a man’s word in business or government was his bond to society. If he was caught lying or if he “lost face” he might lose his life, and often by his own hand (hari-kari). Even in this country, not too long ago, a man’s word and firm handshake seemed to mean something. Certainly, there have always been shysters and crooks, but past concern was focused on ferreting out incompetents rather than psychopaths. As Owens Young put it, “It is not the crook in modern business that we fear, but the honest man who doesn’t know what he is doing.” (1980, p. 38).
Unfortunately, all that has changed. We now need to fear the super-sophisticated modern crook who does know what he is doing . . . and does it so well that no one else knows. Yes, psychopaths love the business world. (p. 315).
Certainly, both entrepreneurs and psychopaths love excitement, and they use manipulation of others as their primary method of succeeding in business. “Manipulation is the primary method of eliciting admiration, ‘love’ and even envy. It is also a favorite technique for expressing aggression without the threat of retaliation because the aggression is masked,” says Dr. Ethel Spector Person (1986, p. 262). But the important differences, once again, revolve around conscience, rage and aggression.
The entrepreneur can be fiercely competitive but still maintain good cause-and-effect thinking and not become sadistic or evil. The businessman/psychopath has no such boundaries and is cunning, immoral and ruthless. Both can be highly successful and the trick is determining which is which and who can be trusted. (pp. 316 – 317).
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I appreciate your mentioning my book “Inside the Criminal Mind.”
There is an updated 2004 edition. I also wrote a book published
in 2007 called “The Myth of the `Out of Character’ Crime.”
Stanton E. Samenow, Ph.D.